one might say we're banned from that church
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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