Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
