I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
