Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
