I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
