i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
