He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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