the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize