Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
