you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Randomize
