Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
