when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
