i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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