i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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