her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
