Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
