I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
