it's like her boobs came off with her bra
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I still have a little drunk in my system
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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