North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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