somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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