Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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