at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Just puked most of my soul out..
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
