So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
