Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
