How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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