and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
