he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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