You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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