I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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