i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
