I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
