am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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