I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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