Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
honey bunches of taint.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize