i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Let's get the cat blown out
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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