Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
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