Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
