The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
