he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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