Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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