Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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