possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
