her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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