Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
