Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
