I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Cover your peen. We're going out.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
