So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Randomize
