Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
