Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
