tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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