you guys were way drunker than both of me
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
