I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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