i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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