Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You had me at "let me see your balls"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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