the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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