Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
