remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
