You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize