I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
