ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
