Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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