I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I can't turn off my feet"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
